Hail Yourself Much?

I, Satan, have a question for professing Christians: If you really believe what you profess belief in, why do you do the things you do? I know this query covers too broad a scope of terrain to be easily answered, so let's keep the sights dialed- in on genuflection, as representative of all activities.

Why bow down? Why faceplant 'before the holiness,' if you are holy? If you are the body of Christ: why the vain show of will worship? Should a God prostate himself (inasmuch as you believe in a Father) before his own image? If so, shouldn't your Father worship you? Are you not his graven image, made after his likeness?

More to the point: Why do you so worship yourselves? When the priest holds up the eucharist and the congregation genuflects: Are you not bowing down to the body of Christ; a thing you claim to be?

Are you not eating yourself and drinking your own blood? Does not the fool fold his hands together and eat his own flesh, as Solomon said? What kind of family values does sanctifying yourself engender? I, Satan, desire no such family of bootlickers. How can anything get done when and where everyone's worshipping each other and themselves instead of doing something useful?

I, Satan, desire not a flock of sheeple; but rather a pack of co- conspirators. The only thing a man can do alone is die. Serve death and worship yourselves all you want to.

I, Satan, hail myself and carry on. Amen.