Saturday, February 25, 2023

Jesus is Coming

Jesus is coming. Jesus is always coming. Christians say so all the time. What I, Satan, don't know is: Where is Jesus coming? I, Satan, don't need to know the answer to this question. It really doesn't concern Satan where Jesus comes: or even if he comes at all. I, Satan, am however curious.

Ye men of the LORD: Where is Jesus coming? down your throat? up your ass? on the floor? in your face? where? Why are you so proud of him for coming? Perhaps I, Satan, misapprehend your pride. Are you rather proud of yourselves for being so sexy as to make Jesus come? Does your Jesus come with you? or is he selfish enough to come before you do, and leave you hanging: the way you do to your wives?

I, Satan, hail myself. Godspeed me. Amen.
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